Pat Batt poem – The Horse


Forty Years ago today
I had my hour of glory,
And then I went and ruined it,
And this is my sad story.I once appeared in pantomime,
You may think this is daring,
But I spent my time bent double
Which is extremely wearing.

I was the back legs of a horse,
And though I bore the brunt
I never got promoted to
The half that goes in front.

We both appeared at Christmas,
Our dancing did appeal,
But one half did a strathspey
And one half did a reel.

I will not mention who did what,
Or who was in the wrong,
But I tried hard to cover up
By bursting into song.

I gave them “Annie Laurie”,
And “Auld Lang Syne” of course,
You did not often hear it
From the rear end of a horse.

And then the audience joined in,
They could not stay aloof,
And we all sang “Rule Britannia”
And nearly raised the roof!

The cheers and shouts were deafening-
It really couldn’t fail,
And I bowed modestly behind
And gently swished my tail.

And then I spoiled my triumph,
You’ll see just what I mean,
For the horse became a camel
When I stood up for the Queen!

Perhaps this would be suitable for a Christmas or Hogmanay ceilidh.